Dear ex-bestfriend,
I came to the same place where we used to come. I sat in the place where we used to sit. I am an writer for name sake. But I am very bad in expressing my feelings in front of others . Like I could never tell u , exactly what I feel. I know there is no term like ex-bestfriend but there has to be one in my life. If relationship between to people can break then friendship also. So I ll call u that.
We are not talking anymore but I don't miss u that much . This is my own voice so I don't want to lie. Everything was so good when we were together. I never thought I could stay without u. Everything in my life was lesser than your happiness. It's like we see in the movies. A call from u and I ll come running, wherever I am. U know that I am high on emotions. After I left home I always thought u r my second family. To get this place in my life u didn't had to do much. There was something there which made this happen. I am still searching that something. I hope I could know it . So that I ll know this also why things didn't worked out for us.
U remember when I used wake up early and coffee for us but u ll not drink coz u had the habit of making stuff on your own. It used to break my heart. I respected your feelings and never said anything. When i used to come back from college and cry for lil things u used to make me understand this things are temporary I ll cross all the problems I am facing, and used to believe u like a kid. I Learnt cooking from u. And I wish I could tell u that this is my favourite hobby now. I know I promised that I ll never leave u . We ll be together and make our homes in the same street so that our kids can grow up together and be best friends like us. I know I couldn't keep my promise I let u go. But I couldn't stop u from turning your back to me. I thought we ll fight but u ll never abandon me. But u know whatever happens ,happens for good. So I took it as something that was destined to be happen. I still remember everything, I didn't even forget a single thing. We used to laugh together, we used to cry together. I always wished I can be a sister for u but u know later I realised , whatever we feel people need not have to feel the same thing. And I realized that nothing is same and equal in both sides.that day when I saw u crying when I was leaving. I wasn't crying becoz I was leaving, I couldn't stop myself from crying after I saw u. I still wonder why was that. I never could understand u. It took me years to stop following u around. When I was finally preparing to leave u . U left me without even thinking. May be it is my mistake . I was blinded by my high hopes that I fell down very hard. U blamed me for our break up . I was ok with it coz I am already carrying so much blames. Somehow I knew things are like this in your mind but I kept fooling myself but when I opened my eyes it was too late. When I saw things with my own eyes. Your perception towards me . My heart said u knew it. My fault, m guilty . I didn't wanted to see. I ll feel bad that I couldn't dance in your marriage or we couldn't click that mehendi wala selfie. But it's ohk . I didn't waited for u to understand any more . I moved on. I walked forward . And I have come a long way.
I have someone in my life now who takes care of me. It's not like replacing u as u blamed me . It's something different between us . I don't need to make her stay in my life. She just stays. I don't need to show her care so that she ll care for me. She just takes care for me. Gives a shoulder whenever I need to cry. Laughs with me when I feel like. We are just friends by nature, no efforts. U taught me how to recognize people. I am her priority by her choice. After she came to my life I never stayed alone. It's not like if u didn't stayed with a person , u never can't . I am happy. trying to heal all my wounds. I want u to be happy like this. I guess the place I had for u in my life, I never had in your life. So it's easier to move on , I took a eternity. Ohk , I guess this is my left feelings for u. U always stay happy I wish that may be we ll meet after a few years and laugh on our stupidity . But I wish I never meet u .I can't . Ever. Bye got to go , she is waiting for me. And wondering why I am writing something from so long.
With love and pain,
Your ex-bestfriend
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